Stories Storyteller

Crazy Lady is a playa.

Grums stood at the top of the hill, he was dancing only his feet did not move, the upper half of his boy leaned like a coconut tree in strong wind. Then as if the wind pushed him, he stumbled down the mud path, who is grums you may ask, well Grums is the Crazy Lady’s boyfriend, on yes, that woman had a boyfriend. He got little way down the hill and stopped, looked around. A woman and her seven year old son started to walk down the hill behind him, but I do not think he saw them because he unbuttoned his pants, whipped his penis out and began to relieve himself. “Mommy, Mommy, Grums have a little ting!” The boy said pointing, “Boy, you want me to wash you mout out wid soap?” The woman said, turning to Grums, You is ah dutty bastard,” Grums stopped relieving himself and turned to her, “Wuman, you know he like it,” he said, the lady stepped to him and slapped him. Grums staggered back, almost falling. The lady walked away, “You betta run, you betta run!”Grums prancing around like one of them karate fighters he saw in movies. His pants fell to his ankles, he bent over to pull it up and one of the village’s trouble makers ran past him and kicked his naked butt. Grums stumbled forward but by some miracle managed to stay on his feet. He continued stumbling on, he walked past the corn patch and tried to pick a cord, but the corn survived. He walked by the empty field, a goat looked up, still chewing on some weeds. “Wah de hell you looking at?” Grums yelled at it. The goat looked at him. “Wah, you wan fight?” Grums yelled, then lowered his head and charged at the animal. The goat took off. Grums chased, hishead lowered, holding up his pants as he went. The goat got to just befopre the corn patch and stopped, Grums stumbled to a stop. The goat faced him, kicked its back legs and charged. I tell you what, I have never seen Grums move so fast. He ran around the corner next to our house, stopped and looked to make sure the goat was not behind him. He stopped in front of our gate, Hey tall buoy. I go go see me wuman,” he said laughing. “Get away from me gate nah mon,” I said. “Oh you jus jealous, I go go in dey and I go wuk dat ting,” He said gyrating. He was laughing so hard he let go of his pants and they dropped to his ankle, The neighbor on the other side of me laughed as Grums pulled his pants up. “Wey you laughing at?” He said and started to walk towards the man but changed his mind when the man started walking down to him. He got to the front of the Crazy Lady’s house and stopped, swayed back a little then walked up to the front door. Just as he was about to open the door Rasta walked out, yes, Rasta, the Crazy Lady’s new boyfriend. “Who you eh, who you!” Grums screamed, Rasta did not say anything, Crazy Lady stepped out from behind him. “Dat me new boyfren,” “You wah, you wah?” Grums screamed and took a swing at Rasta. Rasta pushed him and he stumbled back into the road. Preacherman walked by, his bible held close to his chest, he stopped looking at Grums, his pants down around his ankle, shouting curse words at Rasta. “You mudda!” Grums shouted, pointing at Rasta. The dreadlock boy ran past Preacherman and pushed Grums, he stumbled back about ten yard and sat in a bush of thorns, the man let out the loudest scream I ever heard. Preacheman ran over and pulled him out of the bushes, “It hurt for so, it hurt for so, tek dem out tek dem out!” He screamed. Some villagers were holding Rasta, Crazy Lady was laughing, and Preacherman was pulling thorns from Grums bare bamsi praying under his breath. I tell you what, I never laughed so hard in my whole life.

By Bombastic Nation

Me name is Anderson A Charles. I am a writer story teller and Podcaster, the original Steve urkel, yes I did that. Also played basketball in college ( that's because I am seven feet tall.

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