More Editing Disorganized Crime

A family walked by, perfect traditional, what most would consider the dream family. The little boy looked at Ramon, the giant winked at him and the boy smiled. They walked away and Ramon turned his attention back to the river, a surge of guilt rushed through him, his heart ached, he knew he had killed fathers, mothers, uncles, maybe one of them was kin to this little boy. He got up, walked to the railing and looked down at the river. There was a group of small boats in the middle of the river and a coast guard cruiser glided up to them and all of a suddenly the river became crowded with the coast guard, police, and forensic officials. A crowd gathered on the bank. News crews and helicopters arrived it was a bloody circus. Ramon felt a little sad, these people were disturbing the resting place of his victims, Ramon saw the detective that Vince used for information, he did not want the man to see him so he did his best to blend into the crowd that was assembling on the platform next to him and quickly walked back to his car. Nobody else knew where or how he had disposed of his victims’ bodies this place was his personal cemetery, he felt he was safe from being discovered, this part of the river was the turf of Vince’s rival he had dumped the bodies of associates of Vince on this side so if anyone was to go down for the bodies it would be the rival crew.



Father’s Shadow

From that day on they spent as much time as they could together. Andre was happy; he had stopped chasing girls, and had slowed down on his drinking. Claudette was a nice girl, and he tried his best to show her the utmost respect.          

            Wah wrong wid yuh boi” the shadow asked. Andre ignored him, “Don ignore me damn it,”

            “What do you want?” Andre asked

            “OHhhh listen to de island boi wid he high affluent Yankee accent, What do you want?” The shadow said,

            “You jus jealous dat’s all,” Andre said trying to sound more like his old self, like an islander then got up and went into the bathroom of the small dorm room. He turned on the light but as soon as he sat down on the toilet seat The Shadow walked through the closed door.

            “Who yuh tink yuh is eh? Did yuh tink you go become a bigshot and leave old shadow behind. Never, I go be here and dere is notten yuh could do about it,”

            “Oh really, we go see bout that,” Andre barked back. Suddenly the shadow was right in front of him, its red eyes floating right in front of his nose. The shadow inhaled and blew. A small puff of black escaped its mouth. Andre tried to move away, but the small cloud went into his nose and mouth stifling him,

            “Nobody gets away from me, nobody leaves me behind. Wey yuh go I go, who yuh marry I marry, when yuh shit I is shitting too.” The Shadow said. Small puff of black came out of his white mouth with every word. Andre sucked in hard but inhaled nothing.

            “Ah could kill yuh right now if Ah is ready to,” The Shadow said then inhaled and the puff of black trailed out of Andre’s mouth he saw it go into The Shadows mouth and down to its stomach.

            “Now I is in charge and know dis, yuh could fight all yuh want, but I go win in de end.” The Shadow disappeared, small puffs of black floated in front of Andre for a second. The light came back on and he got up and stumbled back to his bed. He lay there for a second to catch his breath, then got up, went to his dresser, and got a small bottle of rum and drank the whole thing.  


From Disorganized Crime, editing some.

Mr. Green and Mr. Blue were fighting with a fat man in a small apartment. Chairs, tables, lamps, dishes and even picture frames were everywhere. The place looked like a hurricane had hit it. Mr. Blue’s cell phone rang.

“Hello.” Mr. Blue said then listened.

“Who is it,” Mr. Green asked

“Oh, Vince, It’s you,” Mr. Blue said looking at Mr. Green. The fat man struggles and Mr. Blue punches him in the face.

“Am on the phone here, did you mother not teach you manners?” He said, the fat man mumbled something. Mr. Green put his foot on the man’s face. The man growled like an angry bear as he spat blood.

“What he want,” Mr. Green asked, Mr. Blue flashed him an irritated glance and talked into the phone.

“Go where?” Mr. Blue said then listened. Mr. Green struggled with the fat man’s feet, and for a second one of the man’s feet came loose from his grip and Mr. Blue was kicked in the face. The phone fell out of his hand and the fat man rolled over on it. They struggled to move the man as Vince’s voice filled the room like a CB radio. Mr. Blue managed to retrieve the phone and listened.

“What he saying?” Mr. Green insisted. Mr. Blue ignored him

“I know where it is,” he said into the phone. The fat man tried to get his foot loose again so Mr. Green sat him on the leg but his teeth fell out and he scrambled to pick it up before the fat man rolled over on it. He put it back in his mouth,

“What?” He screamed at Mr. Blue. Mr. Blue kept talking into the phone,

“We are Kinda busy right now,” he said, then listened,

“O K we will be there,” he said and rolled his eyes. “All right All right.” He said then gritted his teeth at the phone as he hung up. Mr. Green punched the fat man on his butt then glared over at Mr. Blue,

“What?” he screamed, the fat man began to struggle harder, as if sensing that his time to die was near. Mr. Blue punched him in the face and looked over at Mr. Green.

“We have to hurry,” he said. Mr. Green punches the fat man on the butt again,

“O K” he said, let’s take care of this pig, I think he soiled himself,” Mr. Blue grabbed the fat man by his neck tie and pulled him up, he swings a meaty hand at Mr. Blue and they fell to the floor, the fat man landed on Mr. Green. The green Disco Assassin bit the man on his arm again but once again lost his teeth.

“O K you are dead!” he shouted, they wrestled with the fat man, Mr. Green finally managed to get on top of him and began punching him in the face. When the man was unconscious they both kicked him until his face was a bloody mess.

“Hey, I think he is dead,” Mr. Blue said, resting his hand on Mr. Green’s shoulder to stop him from kicking. Mr. Green looked around for his teeth, but they were spilled all over the carpet. He kicked the man one more time. They cleaned up, made sandwiches, made sure  the wiped place clean then walked out.